Magicchick's Blog

Its a lovely sunny day...

Rave: Ebay bargains
Rant:  Don't want to say today

Well it is ages since I posted. It has been really busy at work and I have been so tired so I am glad to be having an Easter break soon. We are going to a caravan in Carmarthen Bay thanks to our Tesco vouchers. OK I am not a natural caravan park person, although we had loads of holidays in caravans up until I was about 11 or so. Most of this difficulty is because of the last experience I had at a caravan park in Norfolk when Rosie was a toddler. There was a large extended family staying in caravans all around us and one night they decided to gather outside our caravan and have a massive argument with each other and fight at midnight. I was horrified and said I would never stay in a caravan again. That is what you get for staying somewhere where the holiday was five pounds with Sun vouchers! Well at least Rosie will enjoy it as there is a swimming pool and a park and it is right on the beach. So fingers crossed we don't have any rain. Mind you last time I was in Wales it rained everyday. So it will be a break anyway away from home which I really need.

So I have rediscovered Ebay as my friend buys a lot of furniture from there to alter. Our sofas have been shredded by the cats and need the bin desperately, but I am loathe to buy new just so they wreck that! So we decided to buy some brown leather furniture from Ebay. It will be a bit eclectic as we have a two seater and a chair and they are slightly different styles and one is a slightly lighter brown. But however we will save a fortune as we have had both for around £80 so far! I am just looking out for a three seater sofa now. I can then build in the eclectic nature of the furniture into the style of the lounge.

I had a fabulous day at Bubbly Funk doing an altered Mirror/Picture frame with the editor of Craft Stamper magazine. We used Terra texture paste and Inka Gold Viva decor products, Prima masks and made our own flowers using distress inks. It was a great day and I met some lovely ladies too. I am really looking forward to more workshops. It is so great to have a craft shop in Worcester now. This is the one made by the person who ran the workshop.




Just found out today that Rosie is the book monitor in her class at school. I am so thrilled as I have always loved books and I know I have passed that love onto her. She loves her books at home. Having ended up doing a degree in Librarianship and Information Studies, although I have only ever used the information studies bit, I have always had a bit of librarian in me and love for libraries. So I am very proud that Rosie is a little librarian at school. She has just said "Mummy some people just don't respect the books!" Sounds like me!

It's a chilly kinda day...

Rave: Rosie having her first streetdance lesson
Rant: Binge binge go away

So I have been struggling so far this year with a lot of things to do with my well being, namely my binge eating disorder and it does make me feel very low indeed. I hate myself so much when I just can't control what I am eating. My friend who is my healer, adviser and good friend is very patient with me and supports me when I am having a bad day. He has made me promise to meditate on a daily basis and I have absolutely stuck to this. Do you know what it does make me feel better. If nothing else at the end of the day to have twenty minutes to clear your mind and focus on yourself is a good thing, even if you don't believe in the power of meditation. Mind you people have been doing it for thousands of years with amazing results so there must be something in it.

He recommended to me 'Autobiography of a Yogi' by Paramahansa Yogananda. It is an interesting book. I did not find it as live changing as my friend did, or others have done. However his life and philosophies are very interesting. 


One perspective I particularly find interesting is that he was the person who brought Kriya Yoga form of meditation to the west and this is the meditation I am working with at present. This isn't the kind of mediatation that you expect like visualising happy places or something like that. It is about focusing on breathing and energy. I am also working with spinal breathing or pranayama. This is the practice of focusing on breathing and feeling the energy going up and down your spine at the same time. There is an interesting blog from Swami Atma who talks about meditation, postures and spinal breathing.

I think I need to understand why I binge eat, deal with the way that I respond to this and find some peace within myself and I think meditation will help me with this, although it is just the very first step.

I am trying to read as much as possible,, so if I can pick up advice, better approaches to life and also how to be a better person and help myself, mores the better. So I am now reading '12 Steps to a Compassionate Life' by Karen Armstrong. I am finding this a really interesting book as the author is a religious historian, so she does not have a particular religous axe to grind. She encompasses buddhism, daoism, hinduism, christianity, judaism and Islam in her approach, one reviewer called it 'detox for the soul'.

Its another very snowy day...

Rave: Christmas is nearly here
Rant: Snow

OK so I probably like snow, the way it makes everything look so pretty, the fact that Rosie loves playing in it and sledging. What I don't love is the fact that our country is so blooming pants when it comes to snow. We just don't know how to manage it, let alone drive in it! I have already had someone crash into our fence as they slid around the corner, taking it too fast. As for 4x4 drivers don't get me started! Just because your car can manage the snow better than ours, does not mean you can drive as fast as you like in it. Remember ice? Well your car is as rubbish as mine if it hits a patch of that! So my car has been parked on the top road for days as no-one can get up the hill by our house in the snow, but I am going to brave driving in it tomorrow as presents need to get delivered.

I am so glad I did 99% of my Christmas shopping online and in plenty of time, I just had a mad panic with my mum's handbag the other day, but all sorted. I have now finished wrapping everything,  I can now relax, especially as we are at Mum and Dad's for Christmas Dinner. I went to my Mum's the other day and she had a list and said "right I am glad you are here because I need to talk about vegetables" Well anyone who knows me knows, I am not a vegetable fan, so my Mum bless her does the best to get something I like. She said "We have peas, carrots, broccoli, cauliflower cheese, green beans, savoy cabbage with bacon, red cabbage, roasted parsnips, sprouts, roasted sweet potato, roast potatoes, mashed potatoes and shoebags (mash in puff pastry). Do you think that will be OK?" Can you tell my Mum loves cooking for the five thousand? There will also be three types of stuffing, sausages wrapped in bacon and just about anything else you can think of. I have highlighted the veg I eat, so I will be sorted.

I have had a mad crochet fest and knocked up two pairs of fingerless gloves, a scarf, a cowl, five coasters and five bookmarks for christmas presents and an altered canvas. I love making presents for people, but you have to pick your recipients carefully as some just look at them and think, "oh thanks a handmade present" where other people would rather have something handmade than anything else. I am desperate to spend more time in the craft room and I would like to start scrapbooking again, so I am so pleased that there is a new local crop starting at a new bricks and mortar shop called Bubbly Funk. I am looking forward to doing workshops with them too and also at LBCrafts as they do some stunning metal art stuff and I did a piece there recently. So I now have all of the metal art tools on my wish list for my birthday in February!

I am also planning on going out to the theatre more again in the new year and have some things on my list at the Birmingham Hippodrome, including Jekyll and Hyde - the musical, Top Hat - the musical and Midnight Tango  evening. Adrian hates musicals so it will be me and my friend Jules off to those and Adrian and I will go to the Tango show.

I really would also like to get out to the knitting club for stitch and bitch as they call it and meet some new people. Although it has been great this year reconnecting with old friends on facebook and some of them in person too. I almost feel as if getting to this point in my life I am coming full circle and revisiting my past and remembering that a lot of people who were part of that are still good friends. At some point too I would like to start singing again and go back to the choir I was in before I had Rosie. Although I need to find some energy from somewhere.

I am still having physio on my ankle and walking with a stick. I might need referring to a podiatrist too, whatever they do? So top tip for the year is to NOT FALL OVER AGAIN!

So it will remain to be seen if I can fight off my binge eating disorder and start to lose some weight and feel in control, but I will give it another go as it is really dragging me down now. I want to be a good example for Rosie, not a bad one. She is so good, eats really healthily, tries everything but of course she does like a bit of chocolate! I am trying to encourage her to be healthy and active without ramming it down her throat and giving her a complex and at the moment, she is super tall and perfect weight for her height. So I will keep pottering on with that one.

Well Yuletide greetings one and all and a Happy New Year. xx

Its a possible future snow day...

Rave: Thank goodness for my alternative therapist.
Rant: Migraines are pants

After having the worst migraine I have had in years last week, I was glad to start feeling vaguely human again and then I went and had another one this week! Thank goodness for my alternative therapist who always makes me feel better, albeit after half an hour or so of dizziness and feeling sick following treatment. This is long term treatment for my binge eating disorder so sometimes it makes me worse for a while as all the rubbish comes out of my system. However it is also helping with my headaches and migraines. I have stopped eating chocolate again, although when quizzed me he discovered that I am eating the odd bun or flapjack, but at least it is not a massive bar of chocolate at night and some throughout the day. I do feel better for it, although it is a constant battle. There are three chocolate pumpkins in the cupboard that belong to Rosie and working at home today I went to the cupboard four times and walked away without eating them.

So I have finished making a shawl for my mum to take on her cruise and also a cowl for my sister, like the one that I made for myself and even in the same yarn. Here it is:



It was a free pattern from Ravelry.
I am now making some coasters for my parents friends as a small Christmas gift and I need to get going on the other handmade gifts I make for friends who like this kind of present.

I have a shed load of Christmas cards to make, but fortunately a friend from work and I are having a card making day at her house on Saturday so hopefully I can get some made, along with a considerable amount of chatting you understand! So the key to this is one card design I can replicate, gone are the days when I stress about making everyone a different card. Of course except for close family.

Rosie is a king in the Innkeepers Breakfast, however it was hard to get her to chose a costume she liked that didn't look too boyish. She has a nice gold, green and red one. Gone are the days of making things, hardly anyone had last year when she was an angel and bought costumes are quite cheap so it is much easier.

I have nearly completed my Christmas shopping except for those people who have asked for vouchers and a few bits for Adrian. He is difficult this year as he has no idea what he wants for a main present. I have given in and we are having a Wii from my mum and dad this year and I am determined to use it as a fun and get fit thing using the excercise, dance and singing games only. It has worked wonders for my sister, so I thought I would give it a go. I don't want Rosie to see it as a 'gaming' thing, she is too young to get her head stuck in all that and that is when they lose their imagination.

So my hand is around 90 percent better and doesn't prevent me doing much now. I am still on a stick for longer walking and of course it is essential to ensure a seat on the train and to wave it at ignorant drivers on zebra crossings. I have some more Physio starting this week, so I hope that by mid December I can say goodbye to the stick altogether, only 6 months after my accident!

So Adrian is still all 'homemade' and has completed Ginger Beer and now is making Cheeky Vimto. So the videos of the allotment are being added to with homemade product videos, like tomato ketchup mostly starring my mad child Rosie. She is just so great. If you haven't seen them, please check out Adrian's Youtube Channel

Its a kinda sad day...

Rave: Being able to crochet again...sorta
Rant: Nearly getting run over.

So I went to Seville with work for a week and it sounds very exciting and wonderful but in reality it was such hard work for me this time, especially with not being 100 percent fit and coping with pain that I was just crashing in my hotel room at night. I saw nothing of Seville at all. My hotel was near the meeting venue which wasn't in the centre of Seville, so I couldn't even wander out and see anything. The first night though there was an event dinner, bulls tail, mmmmm not very good but there was a flamenco show. It was amazing. I was told by a couple of locals that in Andalucia the flamenco is different and they feel that the dance is part of their entire being which is so romantic.

It was very eye-opening travelling with a stick as well. Struggling with a case, handbag and stick. Having to pull my case with my bad hand whilst walking with my stick in the other was tough. I was helped by no member of the public on and off the bus from the car park at all. However the Heathrow staff were good. They saw me and pulled me through to the front of all the queues so I didn't have to stand and wait which was a real relief. However silly me didn't ask for assistance to the gate and it was further than I expected so I really struggled.

So I have started crocheting again. It is almost as if the autumn comes along and the yarn shouts out in the yarn bag 'crochet me, crochet me' and also there is the whole gift thing for xmas as I always like to give a handmade gift for those people that appreciate them. Of course some people don't want them or just don't 'get' the whole handmade thing. Having tried some crocheting I can't manage much at a time as it really makes my wrist ache. So I hope it is helping it rather than making it worse in the long run. I have finished a scarf for myself in a lovely purple colour and I love it! The first outing out someone asked me where I got it!! 
It was a free pattern from Ravelry and I made it with Rowan Cotton Jeans Yarn. Here is the finished item:



So my next project is 'Heron Shawl' which is a priced pattern from Ravelry, but a bargain at only £3.25. I am making it as a surprise for my Mum as she and Dad are going on a round the world cruise and she said she needs something to go around her shoulders at night. I want to make it in a light soft black yarn and hope to put some beads on it too.

Its a very rainy sort of day...

Rave: Central Heating
Rant: Pain in my wrist following my Physio

Ok so in my last post I said that Adrian was making an allotment on some land my Mum has which has some bee hives on it that belong to my parents friends. Adrian has decided that he will make a video diary of scrubland to verdant vegetable patch and so now has a youtube channel dedicated to it. So if you are interested please check out AdieCain Melon Headed Gardener.

We had a great weekend away for our 10th Wedding Anniversary in Wiltshire. We gave each other the present of an 'Elvish Love Ring' which ia enscribed in Elvish. So it looks like the 'one true ring' from Lord of the Rings, although the wording is slightly different. It says 'one ring to show our love, one ring to bind us, one ring to seal our love and forever to entwine us'. It was so lovely that we can both wear the same ring.
Here is a picture of it:



We visited Avebury Stone Circle, one of our favourite places. It is the oldest stone circle anywhere in the world. Older than stonehenge and so many more stones and you can walk up to all of them and touch them. The energy there is amazing and I came away feeling much better in myself. Here is just one of the many fields with stones in it:


So Rosie turned six and we had a small party for her at home this year making loads of things and the usual party games. It all went down really well and I was exhausted at the end. She looks so grown up now, unfortunately she has an attitude to go with it sometimes! Here is the little munchkin blowing out her candles:


So I am now able to do a bit of crafting with my hand now it is improving, but it is still not right. I am desperate to get going now with some crochet projects, for presents for Christmas, so I might have to give it a bash and see how I go.

It's an alone in a hotel room kinda day...

Rant: People swirling olive oil in soup because they think it looks fancy!
Rave: September summer is here.

So Adrian has come over all....lets have some chickens on himself. This is following the fateful trip to France where Rosie loved feeding the chickens everyday and the eggs we were given were very tasty. OK it is a lovely idea and brilliant for Rosie. But the reality is we have a small garden on an estate. OK two chickens would not need much room but they would wreck the garden and because of urban foxes we would have to open them up in a morning and shut them away at night. That is all well and good until we go away. Now asking someone to feed your cat is a bit different to asking them to look after your chickens and quite frankly I think it is a bit of a cheek. So I have said to Adrian it is a no go and as a result I have one very grumpy Adrian. Maybe one day when we are old and don't go anywhere, but at the moment it would just be a complete bind.

He has had one good idea though. After spending two years doing vegetables in pots and having a lean to greenhouse for tomatoes and cucumbers, he has decided he wants to branch out to an allotment. However the waiting lists these days are very long indeed. Then Adrian had a lightbulb moment. My mum has about an acre of land in the countryside nearby which belonged to her father, which he used.....as an allotment. It hasn't been used in years, although Mum pays just to keep the grass and hedge cut. Obviously Adrian wouldn't use all of it, just a modest plot, but Mum and Dad have said it is fine. The only issue will be water, so he will have to come up with some creative ways of collecting it and/or bringing it along. There is also a ditch at the back that used to have water, so you never know. So now it is Action Allotment and getting the land ready for growing in the Spring which will be somewhat of a job. Anyway Rosie will also love it as she loves digging and planting and growing things. I think it is really important that she learns where her food comes from and enjoys eating what she grows.

So I have booked two nights away for our 10th Wedding Anniversary, yes two nights! When I asked my Mum and Dad if they could  have Rosie for one night, she said I have already pencilled in two! So don't look a gift horse in the mouth I thought. We have only ever had one night away from Rosie together so this will be the first time we have both been away from her for two. I have booked somewhere in Wiltshire so it is not too far but near to all of the nice villages and places we like. We got a good cheap deal through Superbreak so it is not a mega posh country manor hotel type place, but it is a nice large room and the place has a swimming pool too. Hoorah!!

Its a pain filled kinda day....again!

Rant: Still struggling with pain 8 weeks after my fall.
Rave: Josie on Big Brother 

Lots has happened since I last blogged we have returned from our disasterous holiday to France, I had a stupid but serious fall and I have fallen off the wagon.

So after my last post I was doing so well, managing my binge eating and identifying when I might binge, I have fallen off the wagon and struggling to get back on it. Why? Well lots of reasons, but mainly getting out of my routine following the fall and the difficulty with pain) but it just serves to highlight that any addiction is very hard to manage. I have got to sort this out. I am still seeing my alternative therapist and he is also helping me psychologically as well as I am struggling to get cognitive behavioural therapy on the NHS. My last option now for it is not taking referrals until September and then it is not a given that I will get the therapy.

I had a stupid fall at home where I fell awkwardly and ended up going to hospital in an ambulance as they thought I had broken my left ankle and left wrist. Fortunately I hadn't broken them but damaged the tendons and ligaments which I was told would take much longer to heal. Now 8 weeks on I am still walking with a stick and wearing a hand support. Driving is difficult and managing the pain in order to work is very hard. I am waiting for physio and hope that I will get back to normal soon as it is effecting everything and I am getting frustrated that I can't craft without someone to help me.

So France was a slight disaster, the gite was double booked and we ended up staying in this smelly hole of a hotel room, supposedly for two nights but it just ended up as one. I was so upset and just wanted to go home and so did Adrian. The only person who was fine about it all was Rosie! So we did end up with a gite, but no thanks to the company we booked with, or our agent in the UK. We ended up getting our own sorted as someone in the hotel overheard our plight, told his mate with a gite, who turned up at 10pm that night and asked if we wanted to see his gite in the morning. It could have been really dodgy but it was a beautiful gite, much nicer than what we booked with sheep, chickens and geese in the field and a vegetable patch. Our agent sorted it out with the french company and the gite owner and they covered the extra cost of the gite which was good, especially as it was likely that if we hadn't this gite we would probably have had to go home as everything else was booked. We later found out that the owner, the mayor of Hesdin, had overbooked our booking with his friends, so no wonder they did a runner in their car as soon as they had finished speaking to us at the doorstep. They obviously realised they shouldn't be there. I was annoyed as we have not even had an apology!

So it turned out OK in the end, although it did tarnish the holiday for me. Although Monsieur Gilles would knock on the door with a fresh lettuce or cucumber or some eggs. He was such a lovely man and he did save our holiday, so Adrian did an amazing painting of the gite for him as a gift. I think that it was the best landscape painting he has ever done. I was disappointed that the weather wasn't brilliant but we went on the beach a couple of times and I saw in the sea once at Le Touquet. I really enjoyed our visit to Agincourt and also the medieval festival at the ruined chateau. Out of all of it, I enjoyed using my french and also was proud of Rosie ordering her own food and drink in French. The French people were really impressed with her French and called her 'a little kitten'.  Overall I think it will be a while before I go to France again.



Adrian's painting of the Gite in Hesdin

I really wish we could just go on a lovely 2 week all inclusive break but that is too much to hope for. The next thing is that it is our 10 year anniversary on 16th September so I am trying to sort out a night away in a nice hotel for us. I was hoping to go to Billesley Manor where we got married, but it is fully booked. I also want us to commemorate the anniversary with a gift, but we don't have much money, so we are going to have matching silver rings, with elvish inscribed on them. It is a version of the Lord of the Rings one ring but with a slightly modified which says "One ring to show our love. One ring to bind us. One ring to seal our love and forever to entwine us."

So I have avoided Big Brother for about 3 years but as it is the last year I decided to watch it and I am glad. I think it has been the best year and Josie is amazing. She is funny and real and honest and not at all pretentious. She is just the kind of person I would love to have as a friend and I really hope she wins.

Its a flippin' hot evening...

Rave: Going on a Summer Holiday
Rant: Rubbish husband who borrows your bank card, doesn't return it then you find out when you are at the station you can't pay for a ticket!

So I have been up and down, but on the whole I am still winning my battle with the dreaded binge eating disorder and still losing weight. Sometimes I can actually identify now when I am going to binge so I can remove myself from the situation. The difficulty is though when I feel like that I am scared to eat anything at all. This just goes to prove that I still don't have control. It makes me wonder how many other people out there are being told by a doctor to 'eat smaller portions', 'eat more healthily' etc etc but what they really have to do is come to terms psychologically with their bad relationship with food and begin to understand how they can take small steps to begin to learn to control their addiction.

Anyway I can't believe that it is nearly at the end of the school year and that Rosie will soon be leaving Reception class and going into year 1! She has loved school so much, but she is going through a difficult time with her behaviour at the moment. She gets cross and stroppy very easily over small things and gets very angry. So I need to think about how I can manage this better as I don't want  a teenager already! The annoying thing is that she can identify that she is being naughty and why she shouldn't do it, but that doesn't stop her! I now just have to try to get through the Summer with a severe lack of childcare and summer clubs! At least we are on holiday for two weeks.

We are only going away for one week though to Hesdin in Northern France to a Gite. It will be Rosie's first time in France so she is practicising her Bonjour already - Bless! Adrian is over the moon as he has always loved France and  he speaks excellent French too. He can also get his paintbrush out and pretend he is one of those impressionists! We may even get to Lille and there is a gallery with some Goya and some Raphael drawings.

I love every season but Summer with Rosie running around the garden in her cossie with Adrian chasing her with the hosepipe makes me laugh. Adrian checking his 'produce' in the pots and how all the veggies are growing, while Rosie keeps nicking the beetroot leaves and I love the way the cottage garden plants are filling the beds. We just need to keep the sunshine!

Its a rubbish got a cold kinda day...

Rant: Friends who don't let you know that they are safe when they are travelling!
Rave: People who make you toast when you feel ill.

I can't believe that it is the 1st June and I have not blogged for over a month. Work has been madly busy and so have things at home too. I have at last finished the massive yarn bag, which actually does fit all of my yarn in it! I went onto make a baby cardigan and now I am about to make a shrug for Rosie with a pattern and some yarn that I found at a wool shop in Pershore.

I went on a fabulous scrapbooking retreat - Scrap-a-mia with my friend Sue where I spent time working on some fabulous classes from some excellent teachers. They were Shimelle, Kirsty Wiseman, Jane Dean, Ifa Zainon, Cleo Jarvis and Clare from Creative Moments who organised the retreat. I will post some pictures when I have finished all the projects. I have completed nearly three so far. Typical though that the weekend was the hottest weekend of the month, so I missed all of the time with Rosie messing about in her paddling pool.

You know when you have children, sometimes time out with friends you used to spend loads of time with before you had children just disappears. You don't go out as much, if at all and then before you know it years have passed. Well that is what had happened to Adrian and I. If we went out it was with one friend when he visited from Cambridge, or it was just to the cinema. Well a great thing happened the other night. Several of us of the 'old gang' all went out together to see our friend Nic play Blues with Mick, who together are 'Broke Down Engine'. They were playing at the Jinney Ring Beer Festival. Adrian went with his camera and took loads of photos. I had also told him about the hipstamatic app for the iphone which takes photos that look like the old 1970's camera photos with over or underexposed bits and distressed areas. It is great! Here are a couple of pictures:


Nic and Mick - together playing blues


Nic singing the blues


Mick playing slide guitar


It was a great night, even though I wasn't drinking and I hope we all go out together again soon.